Men across the world with practically every conceivable cultural background would rather have 100% renewable bamboo toothpicks shoved underneath their fingernails and — yes — even submit to a full frontal body wax than be forced to give up their primal urge for meaty-cheesy goodness. Go ahead…ask the dude sitting right next to you. Yeah, him…I’ll wait.
See what I mean? Apparently, insane levels of pain become fully tolerable to men when the dangling carrot promised to them is animal flesh and/or moo-milk product-related. Give members of the male persuation both edibles in one shot and its rumored that they’ll willingly submit to a two-for-one colonoscopy and vasectomy.
I’d imagine that many male readers just shuddered at the thought of the v-word — I mean, what kind of a sicko, twisted operation is that? Probably pioneered by a woman, am I right?!? Yeah…but what if you’ve done the child-rearing thing already and you absolutely KNOW that your budget and/or patience can’t possibly handle another bambino? What to do, what to do…oh, I know! Listen closely.
I have good news for you…I think. If you want to intentionally render your swimmers spazzy-to-the-max, or if you think that the concept of dietary vasectomization is rather intriguing, then keep chowing down on those six-layered cheeseburgers and full-fat dairy products. Say what?
According to a recent study published in the journal of Fertility and Sterility, gentlemen who intentionally steer clear of low fat dairy and turn their nose up at a low-meat and high-produce diet are likely to have bummed out, unmotivated sperm that just can’t seem to get the job done. Whoa. Depending on your perspective, that will either make a whole lot of Agriculture Guide members stock up on leafy greens and embrace recessionitarianism, or worship unfailingly at the altar of the golden arches.
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